Your Guide To Keeping Conversations Going
Talking to people is weird. Sometimes it totally flows, no tension just good banter. But more often, especially when talking to strangers, it is a panicky shitshow. Your mind blanks and you stumble for words.
Gut wrenching, sweat breaking out, because you talk to someone new? Staring in the anxious abyss of awkward silence,... it’s so fucking stressful and frustrating!
Added complication, other people don’t seem very predictable. When figuring out how to have good conversations, you not only face your own symptoms, but also the quirkiness of other people.
First of all, let me tell you: all these reactions are normal! Though you may feel it’s long since gone past awkward. You are not weird, only very shy and/or anxious, nothing you can’t overcome.
No More Mr Quiet Guy
My man, no more feeling like the quiet guy! We are going to unfuck you, so you can go beyond uttering a few uninspired words.
We’re aiming for more flowing, meaningful & fun conversations! So you can easily walk up to people, have a chat and walk away feeling good. Meeting new people, making new friends. Feeling more fulfilled because you build a more social life!
So let’s start with these first lessons; so you always have something interesting to say and overcome the awkward silence!
By adopting the key strategies and techniques, social cavemen have been using since swapping grunts for words. All framed in the model of a little game.
How To Have Engaging Dynamic Conversations
Conversation is a verbal sport, you play it together. There is a constant back and forth. I talk, you listen, you process, you respond. Then I listen, I process, I respond. Back and forth.
Let’s compare it with table tennis, a.k.a. ping pong. Where you constantly get the ball on your side of the field. Then hit it towards the field of your opponent, so they can hit it back.
There are basic rules to the game, which in conversation are the societal guidelines. There are taboos and unspoken rules you don’t break, unless you both agree and change the game. But in general, everybody plays by the same rules.
Somehow everyone is expected to know the rules and be at least a bit skilled in this game. To have basic social skills. Not constantly making fouls, missing the ball or overshooting. Because it disturbs the flow and makes for poor conversation.