Social Confidence for Nerdy Guys

Sunday lazy day! That is the day me and my roommate (girlfriend) are just being: “fat, old and ugly.” It’s a blissful state of mind, one we apply for days of professional couch camping.

We munch fast food, binge Netflix and isolate outselves from the outer world. We enjoy the fuck out of feeling our bellies expand.

Last time I ate some fat pizzas, played tower defense and lay flat out on the couch. Just being apathetic, while rocking my stained dull grey tracksuit.

Though we love these days, we only do this occasionally. Most of the weekdays we work out and eat healthy. Besides maintaining an intense professional & social life. Exactly the reason why we sometimes give in to our baser selves. Just to de-stress from an interesting life.

Me and my roommate having our zen-moment!

The reason I begin with chillaxing, is because it is great! Just don't make it your entire life. Contrast it with an interesting (and maybe even meaningful) life!

Yes, being an obese 30-year-old Fortnite veteran might be cool online, but it does make for poor conversation in real life. Let alone your gravestone scripture in 50 years. It’s an uncaring universe we live in, better make the best of your life!

Why my rant about contrasting lazy time and an interesting time? Well because it is the basis for good conversation, meeting new people and finding new friends! (making your life even better!)

A while ago I’ve mentioned how to be more interesting in conversation. Now we can talk more about how to have an interesting life.

Learn more

So first up, to be more interesting have interesting things to say. If you read, watch, and think about interesting topics. Then captivating words will more likely leave your piehole.

Go for what you find interesting, not what others find interesting. Because if you are fascinated, it will resonate through your words and charm to who’s listening.

If you read up on things, go beyond a top 5 BuzzFeed article. How about picking up a book, dive into a long read article or watch a documentary. I guarantee you there are many subjects that will interest you. You know how to find more about it.

What I personally love, is listening to educational podcast on my commute! I’ve heard the most amazing stories on that half-hour trip over the year. You can also tip-toe in the more educational crevasses of Reddit (ow how you can get lost there though). There is always more to learn and share.

But hey don’t only learn factual stuff, read and listen to amazing fiction as well. I’ve had amazing conversations by explaining science-fiction concepts to friends! Or discuss the moral intricacies I’ve found reading in fantasy novels.

Geeky? Yes! Interesting? Fuck yeah!

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Have an opinion

I can’t stress this enough, but do have an opinion on matters. I know, we live in testy times, that is why it comes two big fat buts!

‘But’ numero uno, you have deliberate thought about the subject matter yourself. You don't mindlessly copy it from your dad or your favorite Youtuber (if those are the same person, I’m amazed!).

You may agree but think critically yourself. If you never contemplate anything, or just follow the loudest voice in the media – you are boring and superficial. That said, not caring about something is also an valid opinion.

Second big ass ‘but’ - respects other people’s opinion! Give room to present their views. Consider what they have to say, and why they say it.

Besides, be relaxed about your own and other’s opinion. Don’t be afraid to talk about your judgements. If you have a well-formed opinion, by learning and critical thinking, that is something to talk about. Whether we agree or not.

Learn new skills or get a hobby

Furthermore, how about having some awesome thing you are (getting) good at? Not only a great way to meet people but also awesome for rounding out your character.

So what can you think about? Maybe a team sports: footbal, cricket, ultimate frisbee? Whatever looks awesome. Or going at it yourself taking up running, swimming or athletics.

You can also start a hobby: begin loads of DIY projects, start drawing, pick up needling. You catch my drift. How awesome it is to show what you’ve made, or talk about the things want to create.

You can also think of a more cultural hobby or skills to learn. Go to the local theatre, learn to dance or do stand up. You know what you like, get yourself out there, join a club and learn something new!

I for one will take stand-up classes. I just got the basics of cross-fit. And started my D&D adventure with friends (to the dismay of my fashionable girlfriend).

It is, of course, tempting to make your hobby gaming or social media, but save that for your lazy time. Sure, it makes for great conversation online, but IRL it is not that interesting. Assuming that you are aiming for that. Well you can connect the dots

The big one: Travel

I don’t only meaning sipping tequillas at the all-in-resort. Go to places you have not been before. Do things you haven’t done and meet new people. This doesn’t have to be a flight to Bali. Travel in your own country and you can already experience amazing adventures.

Find out how other people live, by just being out there.

There is not one way to good travel. But the best stories come from going to a new place. An exploration holiday to different state or country. A different context can give you so much headspace, and room to grow!

So if anything, plan a little trip! And enjoy, I bet the stories you bring back will be hella amazing!


So what are you waiting for my man?

Jump of your phone or computer and take the first small step to get this ship going!

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